The Happiest Place On Earth? Yeah… RIGHT!

No childhood is complete without a pilgrimage to Disneyland. I was (and still am, despite what you are about to read) a HUGE FAN of all things Disney. I grew up watching the films, cartoons and experienced a few magical trips to Disneyland and Disneyworld as a kid and loved everything about it.

That being said, going as a kid and going as a parent are too very different things. Especially if you are a parent of a 3 month old and a 4 year old. What the hell was I thinking? Apparently, I wasn’t.

We went on an abnormally hot November Monday. Here I was thinking that the crowd level wouldn’t be too bad. DE-LUSIONAL. Apparently everyone now takes the whole f’ing week off for Thanksgiving, so even on that Monday it was a f’ing nightmare.

We roll through the gates, me with my then 3 month old strapped to my chest in the Bjorn like some sort of battle shield, ready to take in all the magic that Disneyland could throw at us. (I didn’t want to bother with a stroller – stupid move.)
It quickly became apparent that there weren’t many rides to take a 3 month old on. We hit every boat ride in the place.

The upside? My husband and our then 4 year old had a blast. Me? Not so much.

At one point, I needed to feed the baby. I was breastfeeding at the time. I had my hooter-hider ready, just needed to find a place. THERE WASN’T ANY! I wasn’t going to sit on the toilet in the restrooms to do it.

So there I was, in Toontown, looking for a f’ing bench to sit on and inconspicuously breastfeed, but the place was PACKED! I was so disappointed in the human race when NO ONE offered to give up their seat to a mom with a baby. BASTARDS! You are not allowed to be a bastard at Disneyland, Damnit!

So I had to make due. I found a section of curb – THE FUCKIN CURB – where I sat down, threw on the hooter-hider and fed the baby, while sitting basically on the fucking street in Toontown.


That’s the moment when I really felt like a parent. Every other time going to Disneyland what the slogan said was true for me. I felt like a kid again. But this time – it sure wasn’t the happiest place on Earth for me.

NOTE: I’m sure there are places to breastfeed in Dland – I just didn’t know and wasn’t prepared with that information. If you do take a trip to Dland or Dworld, be prepared and check out for all kinds of information and deals.

Another NOTE: I still love D-land and am looking forward to going back now that the kids are older.

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