I absolutely love Gwyneth Paltrow. This woman is so delightfully out of touch and I just can’t get enough of her. Gwyneth speaks Truth, and when I find myself caught in a parenting conundrum I often wonder: What Would Gwyneth Do?
The WWGD approach to parenting is trending, and I have discovered the Top 5 ways we can use WWGD to guide us through our parental challenges.
- Challenge: Taking a shower while small children destroy the house.
WWGD: Forget showering, Gwyneth highly recommends steaming your vag. The Mugwort V-Steam, which I read about in Harry Potter, is the best way to cleanse your lady parts. Gwyneth also tells us, “If you’re in L.A., you have to do it.” Thanks for the extra tip girl!
- Challenge: The Science Fair
WWGD: Out of unique ideas for this year’s science project? Fear not! Gwyneth has revealed that water has feelings. I guarantee NO ONE has done this for the Science Fair yet.
Gwyneth explains, “I am fascinated by the growing science behind the energy of consciousness and its effects on matter. I have long had Dr. Emoto’s coffee-table book on how negativity changes the structure of water, how the molecules behave differently depending on the words or music being expressed around it.”
Yes, this hypothesis has already been proven in a super-credible coffee table book. This is a real winner, simply tell your child to play happy music (or sad) next to a pitcher of water, and enjoy the magic of the scientific process.
- Challenge: What’s For Dinner?
WWGD: Pay attention everyone, because Gwyneth wants to share a personal story about dinner time. This actually happened to her: “One evening when I had my wood burning stove going I realized I hadn’t thought of dessert.”
I love how vulnerable she is here, admitting that she hadn’t thought of dessert. I’m glad she felt she could share this with us. The good news is that even if we forget dessert, we can still make a delicious meal in the wood burning stoves in our gardens.
- Challenge: Getting ready to go out in public while toddlers hang on you.
WWGD: Gwyneth laments that she also struggles to look presentable:
“I’m not very good at putting on makeup, which is, I think, a result of having had my makeup done for 20-plus years, but now I can do the foundation, a little cheek and some mascara. Luckily I have my own foundation color because I helped develop it.”
Luckily there are two options offered to us here. We can either have our make-up done by a professional OR simply develop our own customized foundation. Whatever works best!
- Challenge: The Grocery Store Experience
WWGD: Going to the grocery store with kids can be a huge pain in the ass. In addition to the shopping itself, we must survive the perils of the parking lot and drive to and from the store with our cranky back-seat dwellers. Gwyneth can sympathize and discloses how she handles this process: “Sometimes Harvey Weinstein will let me use the Miramax jet if I’m opening a supermarket for him.”
Wait, what? Did Gwyneth just say she can take a private jet to the grocery store? Talk about thinking outside the box. Running out of cereal is not a problem, simply fire up the G6 and pick up some Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Don’t forget the milk.
I am so thankful we have Gwyneth by our side as we navigate through the world of parenting. When a tough situation comes along, consider how Gwyneth would handle it. She is right here in the trenches with us, keepin’ it real. #WWGD
Click below for an amazing drink pairing: