Mid-Year Mind-F#!k Conference

If you were anything like me, you were a teacher’s wet dream.  You consistently received “pleasured to have in class” stamped all over your elementary school report cards, along with your straight A’s… (Yep, back in my day they gave you letter grades in elementary school – not numbers, or E’s, S’s and O’s or crap like that – they are all judgements anyways no matter what  system you use and by the way – kids should get used to being judged – that’s an important life skill to develop).

As a mom with a son, the school experience has been VERY different.  To start, most elementary-age boys could give two shits about their performance in school and usually only want to impress themselves in their ego-centric minds.  If the teacher is impressed, consider it a by-product.

With this knowledge in mind, I go to my son’s first conference with a teacher other parents in-the-know have called “quirky”.

Screw quirky! The dude was a sadistic, maladjusted control freak with an authority complex.  But that is just my opinion.

To start the conference (at my son’s school the kids are present during the conference…  what the F*!K is that all about?) the dude has my son, (who has been diagnosed ADHD and this teacher has been made aware of this since the beginning of the year) sit in a swivel chair while he and I sit opposite in the low third-grade chairs.  He says to my son, “Now H, you cannot move in this swivel chair.  If you move, I will put my hand on the chair to stop you from moving, but do your best not to move.”


What kind of shitty-ass power trip is this guy on?

I sit, kind of stunned in a way, and don’t respond.  He goes on to have H say his goals for the year, which he has obviously just copied down from examples this asshat has written on the board for all the kids to use. 

The conference, which was supposed to go for 20 minutes – goes for an hour of back and forth bullshit between my kid and this socially deficient dickhead, all of which is focused on hammering out the minute details of these bullshit goals (of which there were two – TWO – to take up an entire hour of my time? WTF?). 

Along with this stimulating discourse, there were many “corrections” from the teacher because of course H couldn’t stop himself from swiveling in the chair.

I thought teachers were supposed to set kids up for success – not fuck with their minds in a power-trip way.


It was the strangest meeting I’ve been in my life to date…. Until the next conference….

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