At the next conference, we are able to go over report cards. They use a number system at H’s school. A scale of 1 to 4. 1 meaning “you really don’t get this shit do you kid?” And 4 being “a level of understanding that equates to a teacher’s wet-dream”.
Mexican Mr. Bean (as I lovingly refer to my sons’ teacher in confidence and behind closed doors – sorry if this offends, but you have to know by now I’m not strong in political correctness) gets to the section of the report card on organization. Why the F@!k are we giving grades/numbers/ WTF-ever – in ORGANIZATION?
Regardless – the dude gave H a 3.5, which is like a B+ for those of us from a bygone era that could take honest feedback and not crumble.
I was surprised considering that H has ADHD and is a guy. What guys do you know that excel in organization? And your gay friends don’t count. (By the way – I’m a big fan of organizing and consider the trait next to Godliness if I believed in God, so please consider it a compliment if I think gay dudes may excel in the organizational arts – and it is art people…)
Meanwhile, back to the conference…
The dude stops at the 3.5 HE GAVE and asks H, “Do you really think you deserve a 3.5?” And H says, “I guess so?” W T F????
He then goes on to say that he doesn’t agree and proceeds to tell H and me that he’s going to lower his grade from a 3.5 to a 3.
1. He’s the F*cker that gave the grade in the first place, It was on a very professional computer generated report card sent home.
2. Changing the grade in front of the kid? What the F!#k is that? Luckily H is pretty aloof about anything to do with school performance – thank goodness! This time that trait really worked to his benefit.
3. This asshole is lucky my husband did not attend this conference. He’d have LOST HIS SHIT.
I’m proud that I in fact didn’t lose my shit because I know a vital truth… ready? Are you listening (reading intently?)
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL REPORT CARDS DON’T MEAN SHIT!
There. I said it. I actually yelled it as you can see with the all caps typing.
And I’d believe this is true even if I had a kid who was getting straight A’s (or 4’s or E’s whatever the case may be).
Let’s stop taking every parenting thing so F’ing seriously! Sure, hopefully report cards are there to show you if/where your kid may need some help or if they are perfect and get perfect grades, you can raise a toast to your awesome parenting skills and take all the credit.
If not – don’t fret – you too can raise your glass and offer up a toast to the fact that your kid is obviously right where he or she needs to be – learning and with room for improvement.
Either way, you need to drink and celebrate yourself for getting your kid fed, bathed, dressed, having his teeth brushed and arriving on time for school. This is an especially celebratory accomplishment if you are getting the kids to school that don’t feel like going, that don’t hate it but they certainly don’t relish the idea of kicking ass in school each day.
If you have one of those types of kids… make it a double!