Biological Club Med

Some days it is a veritable perfect shitstorm being a stay-at-home parent.

I’ve recently chosen to add to my existing “caregiving caseload” and am now the proud owner of a beautiful female German Shepherd.

One more thing to pick up after, feed, groom, take to the doctors, potty train, etc. etc. ad nauseum.

What in the hell was I thinking?

IMG_0010 1

 Yep – that’s her… I didn’t stand a chance.

So I’m already spread thin on the momma-nurturing department since it’s summer vacation and my sons are constantly underfoot.

Side note: Remember when summer was your favorite season?  I bet it was when you yourself were a kid.  Now, as a parent, I’d bet it’s fall – the direct opposite favorite season of kids everywhere.

But I digress.

So I’ve got two crazy-ass high energy boys and a 4-month old puppy to manage.

Most days, I’ve got it down.

On others… not so much.

Case in point:

My younger son wakes up barfing in bed – a great start to our collective day.

After dealing with the biological aftermath of the early morning pukefest (rinsing chunks off sheets, cleaning child up, remaking bed, securing the trusty puke bowl near the child) and while hubby’s home, I take the dog for a quick walk.

She proceeds to have doggy diarrhea – twice – during the excursion and I only brought one shitbag.

dogdumpPerfect.

I Mom-MacGyver it by improvising with the treat bag. I empty the treats into my pocket and scrape the feces from the pavement (which just happens to be right in front of neighbor’s driveway) into a small sandwich-sized Ziploc.

Ugh.

Back home, my sick child is feeling good enough to sack out on the couch…. until he doesn’t.  He then pukes on the sofa and the blanket he was curling up in.

Fuck.

This all happened before 7 am.

soommeecalgonI consider myself lucky.  At least the puppy didn’t pee on the carpet… yet.

I see what you have in store for me today universe.

Apparently it will be a constant loop of cleaning up biological matter with feeding, caring for and nurturing in-between.

Luckily I’ve got lots of laundry detergent, a working washing machine and Bailey’s for my coffee.

So BRING IT!

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